Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Careful What You Say- Your Child is a Reflection of Who You Are

Sometimes, the 240 characters on Facebook are not enough space to really express One's feelings or emotions. So, this moment has been brought to you by a very tearful and confused Viking Monkey Boy whom I just spent the weekend comforting. 

Please raise you hands Moms and Dads if you have had your child come home and has said:

(Names have been humorously changed to protect the innocent)

"Little Attila said I couldn't come to his yurt because his Mama is mad at you because (insert moment of choice)."


"Little Ragnar said he couldn't come over to our house because you can't clean correctly."


"Little St. Francis said we couldn't play together anymore because his Daddy said we were sinners."


"Why does Anakin's father call his Mother a 'b-1-3-4-h'?"

Then in complete confusion your child explains that these "friends" won't be their friends anymore.

As any Mother would do you gently confront the parents of Attila, Ragnar, St. Francis and Anakin and ask for some kind of clarification. Of course they deny ever saying these statements directly to your face. But, you can tell in their eyes that they must have said the statements, but not directly to their child. It was an "adult" conversation that the child wasn't meant to over hear. 

Ladies and Gentlemen- I am not here to be your thought police, your editor, your sensor or even  Judge. What I would like to share with all of you is a bit of a learning moment.

Our children are our mirrors to us. Even during play they are still observing, listening and absorbing everything around them and sounds they hear, including conversations. 

We all tend to vent or express our opinions/beliefs etc to adults, to our spouses or a trusted friend. I do too. But, I am very careful when I vent not to vent around the Viking Children. I try, at least.  Why? To avoid confusion.

When we vent or express a personal opinion around a child under the Age of Understanding they see it as a truth. They see and hear our comments as black and white. Children under the Age of Understanding (ages 0-12 years of age) have developmentally placed us on a Pedestal of Truth.

At this developmental stage children also model our own behaviors. This is why our children are our mirrors. How we behave is how they will subsequently behave. Yes, that tone you often hear from your child that sets you on edge may be a tone that you use. Ouch!

Now, I understand that if a particular person or child is not "healthy" to be around then of course limit their exposure to your children. I have, sadly. 

What I am warning against are those comments, vents or opinions that as adults may be meaningless, but to a child are full of meaning. 

I am still trying to figure out how to fix the damage that has been caused by these two comments. 

Stay tune... I may share my discovery.

Bless Bless
Viking Mom in search of a clean, snotless shirt.

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